On being a goalie:
Sometimes we'd lose 10-0, other times we were hammered. One day the manager's best mate decided to give me a boost. "Unlucky, son," he said, as another one flew past me into the middle of the goal. "You didn't stand a chance." He then turned to the manager. "Who's that useless bastard in goal, Irv?" I only lasted half a season as a proper goalie.
How to be a functional freak:
“You should never just read for ‘enjoyment.’ Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends’ insane behavior; or better yet, your own. Pick ‘hard books.’ Ones you have to concentrate on while reading. And for God’s sake, don’t let me ever hear you say, ‘I can’t read fiction. I only have time for the truth.’ Fiction is the truth, fool! Ever hear of ‘literature’? That means fiction, too, stupid.”
Will I be rich? Which is almost pretty depending on where you shop...
Murals and skin colour:
.. my cousin's company driver showed us the sights, but when we stopped for lunch at Howard Johnson's he explained he couldn't go inside because they didn't serve colored people. "But you're with us!" I said. "I know," he said, smiling over my head at my mother, "but they don't know who you are." Inside, I asked my mother why they wouldn't serve him. "They have their own nice places to eat," she said. I don't believe she was particularly upset on his behalf.
(Roger Ebert has gotten much more verbose since losing the ability to talk)